Identity: Embodying Your Divine Essence
What does it mean to have identity? It’s a challenging concept to define because identity isn’t tangible. It is an essence. A quality of individuality.
Of youness.
Identity isn’t defined by something a person does. It is an embodied practice...
When awakened humans (re)claim their sovereign identities, the journey of life evolves from a primal drive for connection and belonging to the tribe (because we’re trained through societal conditioning to look for connection and belonging from without), to the primal drive for connection and belonging to the self (because with consciousness comes the knowledge that true belonging only happens from within).
This is when the game of growth and inner expansion truly begins.
This means that the radically sovereign human’s impact - both for themselves and for the world - is less about how or what they’re doing –
It’s about who they choose to be while they’re doing it.
[NOTE: You may wonder why I’m using “(re)” is parentheses before the word claim. That’s because our divine essences are ever-present and accessible to us in every moment. It’s only life experience (especially experience related to wounding and trauma) that creates a feeling of separateness from it. So the process of awakening is actually about reclaiming this inherent identity, even if a person isn’t aware that it exists.]
HOW IDENTITY IS FORGED
Even while still in the womb, we humans seem to express an inherent personality or nature (i.e. “active,” “mello,” etc.) - the first signs of identity.
We also know that our early nurturing and the environment in which that nurturing takes place plays a large part in shaping our identities.
Much of who we are as individuals—our appearance, skin color, mannerisms, habits, beliefs, and behaviors are inherited from our early caretakers, who inherited those things from their early caretakers…
Besides what is passed down genetically or through parenting, we also belong to an assortment of other group identities:
Religion
Education
Relationship Style
Age
Physical and Mental Abilities
Gender Identity
Romantic/Sexual Orientation
Economic Class
Country of Birth
Ethnicity...
Through these communities, we learn what to believe and not to believe, what thoughts and actions are acceptable and not acceptable, what is beautiful or repulsive, or what is right or wrong (at least, to the people in those communities).
Given these truths, how much of your current identity do you believe has actually been a conscious choice?
HOW IDENTITY IS LOST
There are so many relatable reasons why people lose or retreat from their identities: traumatic events, toxic relationships, health issues, losing a job, being a caretaker, going through a collective global crisis where you’ve had to isolate, with little to no human contact for an unpredictable and prolonged period of time...
Some people are never given a chance to form their own identity because they were raised by caregivers who weren’t capable of seeing past their own dysfunctional lives, and so there was simply no room for a separate identity to manifest or take root.
When a person retreats from or isn’t allowed to embody their own separate identity, they can become overly self-critical or over-controlling, have weak or non-existent boundaries, or can develop dysfunctional tendencies like codependent behaviors, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or passive aggression, among others.
If you see your personal story reflected somewhere in this description, you’re not alone. My own story is tucked in here too.
The first thing to know is that these behaviors are nothing to judge ourselves for. Think of these coping strategies as young, fragmented, overwhelmed pieces of self who, with no guidance or support, created crude-but-effective strategies as a way to protect us from feeling that overwhelm ever again. These echoes of our younger self are meant to be witnessed and honored for the role they’ve played, regardless of the circumstances that created them.
Having said that, I’m guessing your version of these survival strategies are getting in the way of you living life turned on, which is why you’re here. The good news is there are ways to release and integrate all of these echoes, but it’s important to first open your mind and heart to the notion that these survival behaviors were absolutely necessary at the time they were developed, and that the young person who adapted in order to survive was, in fact, a fucking badass.
This quote from Andye Murphy sums it up nicely: "Without our due diligence we are poor stewards for dreams. Be ready, be receptive and welcome the dream to move through you. Rather than feeling discouraged, see the obstacles as exactly the trigger that will help us heal and overcome the doubts deep within. When these “icky” energies arise, it is only asking to be loved, acknowledged and brought back into the fold of your total whole self.”
Let me elaborate more on the machinations of these fragmented echoes of self.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO EMBODY ONE’S DIVINE ESSENCE?
When a person’s external world -- how they live - is a reflection of their internal world - who they are - they become the living embodiment of their divine essence.
What Gets in the Way
Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you.
-ObiWan Kenobi
Our minds, which are ruled by the ego, are the biggest obstacles to embodying our divine essence. Our minds make up stories about what we’re experiencing, how we’re feeling, and about our worthiness.
But how? Why?
When we have an uncomfortable experience, it’s not usually the experience itself that carries the lingering effects, but the echoes of that experience, including beliefs we create about life, the world, or ourselves as a result of that experience:
I’m not lovable
The world is cruel
I can never get it right
What’s worse, we judge some emotions as good and others as bad (more examples of those echoes I mentioned earlier).
As we become conscious, we realize that uncomfortable emotions are just false stories and beliefs we’re holding onto. And what’s more, these stories don’t even necessarily originate with us, but are influenced by generational, ancestral, and past life experiences.
It can be terrifying to give up our stories because we don’t always know who we are without them. And the Unknown is often far more terrifying than the Known, even if the Known is harmful to us.
There is so much power in owning the stories you’ve created, in taking responsibility for your now, and in (re)claiming the essence you were before the experiences of this 3D reality changed you.
What stories are you holding onto?
I’m going to step you through a thought exercise that helps you to see yourself and these echoes with more compassion…
Imagine someone who looks, thinks, feels, and has the exact same life experience as you - but they’re actually the main player character in a video game. A character who doesn’t realize that they’re actually a Hero who hasn’t discovered the truth of their magical origins yet because they’ve been overwhelmed with just trying to survive from day to day in the game world. Or imagine your Hero and their life as the story of a movie… whatever works for you.
Then ask yourself:
What role are they playing in their own life at the moment? Are they –
-Defined by their relationship to others: the parent, the spouse, the breadwinner, the caretaker?
-Defined by what they’ve done in the past: the screw-up, the “goody-two-shoes”, the workhorse?
-Undefined altogether: mostly invisible or sleepwalking through their life?
How would you describe their current identity if you were describing a character from a story?
Did they have a former identity that they’ve had to set aside or walk away from?
What were/are the factors or events that created the shakeup in their identity?
As the answers to these questions come to you, are you able to see this Hero through the eyes of compassion for the choices they made in order to survive their unique circumstances instead of judging them for not being perfect?
Do you recognize the badassery of the choices they made at the time, with no one to guide them or remind them of their divine essence?
People often wonder what their purpose in life is. When a person (re)claims their divine identity and embodies their divine essence, they are naturally “on-purpose” in every moment, even as the expression of that purpose evolves.
The journey is the destination.
Remember, you are the magic.
In sovereignty,
Sharon Marie Scott
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